Sudden Death
by Medicinal Biscuit
Summary: Drabble. Sasuke-centric. Everything comes full circle, but when full circle comes full circle, where does it ever end? Basically, musings on the latest chapters in the Manga, as well as musings on battles to come. SPOILERS FOR RECENT CHAPTERS. ANGST.


**Notes: Dude, i totally had to write this fic for the sheer irony that it's the complete opposite of something you'd expect by me. I usually do crack humor fics, and yet this is a canon angst/drama...you see i had no choice but to give in to my whims and write.**

**So this is basically my musings on recent chapters of the manga, so needless to say major SPOILER warnings. **

**Drabble. Sasuke-centric (with the mandatory Suigetsu and Naruto, of course), also something i never thought i'd do. hmm. Well, here it is.**

**Sudden Death**

I really don't know how it came to this.

And that scared me.

A few years ago, this situation would have been completely unfathomable, ridiculously so. It would have shocked me to amazement, and driven me to rage.

But now I'm not me...not really, anyways.

Now, I don't know what I am.

**x x x**

I can't say I didn't notice it the first time I picked up that cloak. The feeling was there; a muted, quiet nagging, like an itch I couldn't reach, a feeling of unease I couldn't explain. But in the beginning, it was easy to ignore. As far as I was concerned, this was just another means to the end. And seeing as that end was finally within my grasp, I was not about to give in to any second thoughts now.

I should have known it wouldn't be that easy. With things finally going my way for the first time in my life I'll admit I let the final shards of my naivety take over.

_Everything comes full circle._ I should have known that my old self could not be fully suppressed.

It first hit me, truly and fully, when pausing in front of a mirror. I watched the eyes of the stranger in the glass go wide in stomach- churning horror, phasing from black to red in panic.

_Who was that?_

It was the man who had killed Orochimaru himself. The man who had taken on followers, criminals and murderers the lot of them.

The man who had finally exacted his revenge and had met Uchiha Madara. A man whose entire perspective on life had recently been turned on end.

_That was me_.

I realized it with a jolt, a spasm running through my body, making my face contort and my hand jerk involuntarily to brush the cold glass.

It was me.

But...who was I?

Somehow, in some sick, twisted way, I could still stand before myself, this stranger in the mirror, unabashed and unashamed. Even as the _spitting image_ of my dead brother clad in black and crimson, the colors that seemed to rule my life. I was the Akatsuki.

In fact, I had been getting ready to set out on my hunt for the eight-tails when this episode had gripped me.

Only two left.

The eight-tails, and then..._.Oh God._

My breath hitched and I leaned more heavily on the mirror to steady myself. My knees buckled regardless as the enormity of the irony sank in. Finally, belatedly, I understood. I understood my fear as I met those cold red eyes in the mirror, cold as stagnant blood.

Was that me? Or was it _him_? Was I myself or my brother? I thought I had finally gotten what I wanted, but did I?

_Everything comes full circle._ It's not about surviving, it's about surviving with what you've become. You _will _hate yourself in the end.

What had I given up?

For during all those years in training, actually fulfilling my ambition had seemed like a transient dream- a mere shadow of another life, another person's actions.

One, Two, Three

I counted the beads of sweat that turned the dusk black of my cloak to midnight as they fell. I was still huddled on the floor when he came in. Still staring at my lap.

I couldn't bring myself to face my reflection.

A rustle of silk and he was beside me. The reflection of his hand, even paler than my own still resting on the glass, was all that I could see of him.

"You know," he remarked in casual thoughtfulness, "I think I'm gonna like demon hunting. I just wish we could go after the nine-tails instead. I'm afraid the eight-tails is gonna be too easy. Bet Naruto would let me have a little fun, ne? But if it's too much for you..." He halfheartedly backpedaled, noticing the sudden tightening of my lips, no doubt. Suigetsu tilted his head at me, the drowned pale hair dancing with the dusk of his cloak, a smile glinting in his liquid silver eyes.

I cautiously looked up and glared at him in the mirror, careful not to let my gaze slip back to my own reflection.

"Hn. Even I am human, Suigetsu. I just fought a very taxing battle and have not quite recovered. I am still not at my norman level."

The washed-out skin around his fishy eyes crinkled like paper as he grinned, not buying my pathetic excuses.

As for his next words...I can honestly say they'll remain with me to the grave.

"In the Shinobi world, Sasuke, at that last, most bitter end, all we ever truly amount to is just another obstacle in the way of someone else's purpose." he leaned closer to me making the hairs on the back of my neck stand up as his breath ghosted over the glass, creating the impression that he could just fade through into another world. LIke the was already one of the ghosts he spoke of, like he was staring at me through the fog of a dying breath.

"When it's all said and done, we're just one more heart to stop."

His pale gaze bored into my own with all the merciless strength of the sword he wielded. He stood up and glided off, pausing only briefly at the door to say, "Don't fret too long, Sasu-chan. We have a demon to catch. Only two more to go, you know."

I gritted my teeth and stared into the eyes in the mirror.

_Oh, I knew alright. How could I possibly not?_

I clenched a fist and slammed it with all the force I could muster right into my own reflected face. A thousand myriad images of my doubts and fears stared back at me through the spider web of cracks.

_After all, these demons were the means to my end._

And a single drop of blood slid smoothly down the glass, cutting cruelly through the fog of our mingled breath.

**x x x**

One down, One to go.

When it was all said and done, the Eight tails was easy. Easier even than I had expected. I cannot honestly say that I did not suffer many a sleepless night over what was to come next, much to Suigetsu's amusement. To ease the apprehension that I denied even having in the first place, I told myself that Pein would handle it- that I had no reason to think otherwise. But in reality I knew. Deep down, I think I always had.

_Everything comes full circle_. The Valley of the End had only been the beginning.

It was always destined to come to this.

**x x x**

Desire is a fickle thing.

I had so badly wanted to win, to the point where it became all-consuming, where life ceased to matter beyond the pursuit of the goal. But that was back when everything had seemed to be black and white. In the past, before someone smeared the rules into a thousand shades of gray.

A day ago, I could have told you exactly what I wanted and exactly how I planned to get it.

But now, standing on the edge, my life balanced on the tip of my sword, I could see the end, _my_ end, the destruction of Konoha taunting me from across the finish line. Only one more battle stood in my way.

And yet, I wasn't sure if I really wanted to win.

I'm not so sure of anything anymore.

There was just one more obstacle standing in my way. Would I have the strength to remove it?

_There was just one more heart to stop._

And in that one, sickening moment several things became clear.

_Everything comes full circle_. But it seemed that after this I wouldn't be able to simply keep turning.

If our existence is a cosmic game, and reality the game board, then I am truly the ultimate cheater: making my own rules, miraculously escaping death, playing God with people's lives, even bending perception, twisting _reality itself_ into a mirror of my will.

But what I didn't realize up until now is that reality has a nasty habit of catching up to you. It _always_ gets its revenge.

_After all, cheaters never prosper._

So now in this deadly game, when full circle has come full circle, where does it ever end?

The air around me crackled to life with the raw electricity of that chakra and I knew now that this was one round I couldn't cheat my way out of.

_One on one, face to face_

Reality was finally biting back.

_Even grounds, no escape_

When full circle comes full circle, in order to reach the end of the game, something's gotta give.

_One more time, one last fight_

How's my luck gonna hold out this time, I wondered idly as he charged at me, the familiar fire in his eyes.

_Who's will is stronger? _

Raising my head to the sky, I closed my eyes and felt the sun on my face, the quaking of the earth under our feet; felt the scream tear itself from his lips.

_Was it all fate?_

I really should have always known that it would come to this. Even circles must have an end somewhere...

_Something's got to give._

...and this is it. The long-awaited end of the game. Who will win? Or did I even care...

_One last round...just one more heart_

Somehow as if someone else had drawn in my sword was raised to parry his blow. Fire and ice, an endless circle finally coming to a halt, turning one last time in a surprise round:

_This was that end...that last heart..._

_...just...one...more...heart..._

Sudden.

Death.

**Questions, comments, concerns, or complaints, you know where to find me, people.**

**BISCUIT**


End file.
